Dear Mom,

Well last weekend didn't go so well, as expected. Dad got really mad and Jill and I for introducing ourselves as "Kevin's Daughters" instead of Nick's stepsisters at the wedding luncheon. That's how I've always been introduced when it came to family and friends of Alecia's, so I didn't think anything of it. Apparently it really "hurt" Dad, Alecia, Nick, and Faby. I think it really just hurt Alecia and she made Dad say something. Of course he brought it up on Dane's blessing day, souring the day forever for me. Thanks Dad. The thing that really bothers me though (and of course I remembered this after Dad and I had our "talk") s that Alecia introduced me as "Kevin's Daughter" at Faby's bridal shower. It didn't seem bother anyone then. So that makes her, in my opinion, a big fat hypocrite! Dad chewed out Jill for a number of things too. It's hard for me to accept that things have really gotten this bad, but they have and I'm not quite sure what to do about it. I've always been so supportive of Dad and Alecia, so for him to yell at me about this one little thing really hurt and bothers me.

Dilema

Dear Mom,

So I don't know what to do. I just got off the phone with Dad and discussing the sleeping arrangements for Jill and Jef this weekend. Alecia's son, Nick is getting married and the kids want to stay at my house, not Alecia's. Dad wants them to stay at her house for at least Friday night. I didn't fight him about it, but I know Jill definitely will. She doesn't feel comfortable around her and would rather be at my house. I know this is going to cause big problems and sour the whole weekend. I don't want to make a big issue about it either, but want Jill and Jef to have a good weekend. I know Dad feels like I overstep my boundaries as a sister and act too much like a mom, but I feel like I have to make up for you being gone and him not really being there for them either. Sometimes I feel like Dad wants his way for the just because he's the parent and no other reason. He's been more stubborn than usual and doesn't really try to see your side of the story. It's really hard on Jill. So, what should I do, push Dad into letting Jill and Jef stay where they want, or don't get involved???

5 Years

Dear Mom,

I can't believe that it's already been five years since I've heard your voice. Sometimes it seems like longer, and sometimes it seems as though it was just yesterday. So much has changed in these last five years. I am now a mother of 2 and have a house, Dad is remarried, and sadly his relationship with Jill and Jef isn't what it used to be. It really upsets me, as I'm sure it does to you too. I keep hoping things will get better between them. We went to your grave on Saturday and brought flowers. I wanted pink roses, but all they had were red. Megan helped put the flowers in the vase. I still don't quite know when and how I'm going to explain her to you. I have the last family picture we took by my bed and she points to you and says, "Grandma". I'm sure she still recognizes you from before she came. I wish that part of the veil would stay open for her and all my children. It just breaks my heart that they won't get to meet you in this life. You would have been a fantastic grandmother. I do joke to my friends that you've picked out all the cute kids to send to me. I like to think there's some sort of truth to that. We are blessing Dane this weekend. I'm sure it will be crazy with all of Eric's family and our family, but what's life for without a little crazy?! It's just going to be one of those days where I wish with all my heart that you could have been there too. I miss you mom. So, if you have a few minutes on Sunday, come and take a peek at my little growing family. I'll be watching for you...

Service instead of sleep

Dear Mom,

We had Adam and Jen over for dinner on Sunday since Hannah and Arlo were in town. Eric went to church with them and Megan and I stayed home with Dane since he still has a few weeks until he's 2 months old and can go to church. It was Adam and Jen's little girl, Mya's, first birthday that day. I realized that I had a cake mix and ingredients for Grandma Taylor's frosting recipe, so I made cupcakes because I strongly believe that everyone deserves to have cake on their birthday, especially when it's their first. I even had violet food coloring and they were adorable. I made them instead of taking a nap, thinking that's what you would have done. When everyone arrived home from church, Eric said that he could smell that I had made something. When I showed him the cupcakes (on my cute cupcake stand, of course) he said, "You are your mother's child" and it made me smile inside. You were such a great example of how to serve and make others feel special and I'm trying to do the same. Watching tiny Mya's expressions while she dug into her violet cupcake and make a mess of it, more than made up for my lack of sleep. Of course I busted out my camera and took pictures. I know she won't remember that day, but her mom will and how someone took a little time to make her little girl feel special on her first birthday.

The Mall

Dear Mom,

Today we went on an outing to the mall. Mostly to get out of the house and go somewhere air-conditioned because it's still too hot outside to do much else. I ran into Amy and her three kids. I see her more at the mall than anywhere else. It's kind of crazy. We always say that we should get together soon, but never do. I'm sure we both mean to, but it just doesn't happen. I returned a shirt at Gap and got another one to replace it. It was a little crazy trying to get the double stroller in the handicap dressing room, but we managed. After I got the shirt I was trying on all the way on, Megan said, "Perfect", and it was. How can I not get it after my two-year old fashionista has deemed it perfect?! After my exchange, we made our way down to get a pretzel. Megan loves them as much as I do and what's a trip to the mall without a treat? I have fond memories of us at the mall enjoying cookies, Orange Julius, Hot Dog on a Stick, and of course pretzels with cheddar "sauce" and a Cherry Coke. (Sad that the pretzel stand at the Antioch mall had a fire and never came back.) My drink of choice has turned into Diet Coke, but still has the same refreshing affect without the calories, which I unfortunately have to be conscious of these days. Sitting on a bench, sharing a pretzel with my baby girl and my new baby boy in my arms reminded me of our many outings to the mall. I don't know why food induces so many memories for me, but it does. I'm sure some of those outings were just to get out of the house and for a change of scenery, just like mine was today.

P.S. We found Megan in Dane's crib on top of him yesterday monring. That girl is going to love him to death if we are not careful!

I Love You

Dear Mom,

I tell Megan that I love her several times a day. Today was the first day that she's said it to me on her own without me coaxing her. I was taking her upstairs to put her to bed and she was saying good-night to Eric and said, "I love you Daddy" and then turned to me and said, " I love you Mommy" and then gave me a big hug and a kiss. It made my hearts come out. I don't think I've ever heard sweeter words. It's those little things that get you through each day and make all the hard work of being a parent worth it.

A nice surprise

Dear Mom,

I am sitting at home with Dane watching Conference while Eric took Megan to church. It's been a crazy week and I've wished I could have called you several times. I tried potty-training Megan without success and Dane has had some rough nights. Your advice would have been greatly appreciated. But, I push on and try my best! I did have a really nice surprise this week though. The other activity day leaders and girls planned a surprise baby shower for me. How did Heavenly Father know that's exactly what I needed that day, to feel loved and appreciated after a few hard days of being stuck in the house for the 4th week in a row. I almost cried. It reminded me of something that you would have done for someone else.

I took this picture of Megan on Friday while she was napping. It was too cute! I read to her and then scratch her back while I sing a few songs before she goes to bed for naps and bedtime. She loves getting her back scratched and I love that special time of day when it's just us and we are so close together. I always felt special when you would do that to me and want her to feel the same way.